Riepilogo Didattico V Lezione

dott. Daniele TrevisaniNEGOZIAZIONE INTERCULTURALE – Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2016.

dott. Daniele TrevisaniParliamoci chiaro, Gribaudo, 2019.

dott. Daniele Trevisani, Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace, Franco Angeli Edizioni, Milano.

dott. Recalenda Marco, appunti da corso di Negoziazione di prof. Daniele Trevisani www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it, Padova, 25/03/2021.

Presso Campus Ciels Padova, Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica LM

Corso di Negoziazione, vedi Trevisani Daniele – Campus Ciels

Parole chiave della lezione:

  • Problem solving
  • 4 modelli di empatia
  • Modello 4LE
  • Creatività
  • People management
  • Pensiero critico
  • Capacità di coordinamento
  • Intelligenza emotiva
  • Capacità di negoziazione
  • Ruota di Plutchik
  • Topic shifting
  • Empatia comportamentale
  • Empatia relazionale
  • Empatia cognitiva
  • Empatia emozionale
  • Leadership emozionale
  • Evocazioni semantiche
  • Reframing cognitivo
  • Ghost costumer
  • Intelligenza emotiva
  • Flessibilità cognitiva
  • Orientamento al servizio
  • Goal setting
  • Emozioni miste
  • Impression management
  • Metacomunicazione
  • Capacità di giudizio e decisione

Concetti fondamentali trattati:

  1. I modelli di empatia sono 4: il modello di empatia comportamentale, che consiste nel comprendere i comportamenti altrui; il modello di empatia relazionale, ovvero con chi ci si relaziona; il modello di empatia emozionale, cioè la comprensione dei sentimenti e delle emozioni; il modello di empatia cognitiva, che consiste nel come si affronta la situazione.
  2. L’intelligenza emotiva è la capacità di un individuo di saper riconoscere quale stato emotivo sta vivendo.
  3. Con Metacomunicazione, si intende il rendere i termini che vengono utilizzati in una negoziazione in maniera esplicita, specificando il codice comunicativo che si intende utilizzare.
  4. Le evocazioni semantiche sono dei richiami a mondi percettivi che si innescano ricorrendo a determinate parole e/o gesti.

Sintesi del mio apprendimento:

Ho capito che è necessario possedere una buona intelligenza emotiva per saper riconoscere gli stati emotivi che possono influenzare una negoziazione.

Ho imparato a distinguere i 4 modelli di empatia al fine di affrontare una negoziazione al meglio.

Ho riflettuto sul fatto che è necessario uno sviluppo delle proprie abilità e capacità cognitive per poter ottenere risultati positivi nella negoziazione.

Fonti:

dott. Daniele TrevisaniNEGOZIAZIONE INTERCULTURALE – Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2016.
dott. Daniele TrevisaniParliamoci chiaro, Gribaudo, 2019.
dott. Daniele Trevisani, Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace, Franco Angeli Edizioni, Milano.
dott. Recalenda Marco, appunti da corso di Negoziazione di prof. Daniele Trevisani www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it, Padova, 25/03/2021.
Presso Campus Ciels Padova, Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica LM, corso di Negoziazione, vedi Trevisani Daniele – Campus Ciels Corso di Negoziazione, vedi Trevisani Daniele – Campus Ciels.

Other online material available in these sites:
Sito Studio Trevisani Formazione Coaching Consulenza (Italian & English)
Sito Daniele Trevisani (Italian)
Website Dr. Daniele Trevisani (English)
Comunicazione Aziendale
Comunicazione Interculturale
Medialab Research
Intercultural Negotiation (English)
Operational Negotiation (English)
Linkedin Profile Dr. Daniele Trevisani

Other available online resources
Pubblicazioni e libri dott. Daniele Trevisani (Books published)
Rivista online gratuita di Comunicazione, Potenziale Umano e Management
Iscrizione gratuita al Blog Studiotrevisani.it tramite Email
Canale YouTube
CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

Communication and Listening as Encounters among Worlds

Article translated by dott. Tommaso Pasqualini, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

ACTIVE LISTENING MECHANISMS TO MAKE SURE THAT UNDERSTANDING IS CORRECT

When listening, always assume that you will not understand everything perfectly. In this way, you will already know that the techniques of enhanced understanding that we are going to explain will be useful to you. Whatever we listen to, where there is a need for clarification, we can also ask for confirmation of what we have perceived, in order to be able to adjust it. In fact, we only have the possibility of making hypotheses about what we perceive, hypotheses that it is good to verify at least on the key elements, resorting to specific mechanisms:

  • Reformulation: I reformulate what I understood and let the interlocutor correct me on what diverges.
  • Synthesis and recapitulation: I summarise what I understood and ask if it is correct.
  • Reverberation or Echo: a broader reformulation taking in whole categories, among them:
  1. Reverberation of data: make the sum of all the data heard,
  2. Emotional reverberation: adding up all the emotions felt, and what they are associated with,
  3. Belief Map Reverberation or Belief System: add up all the perceived beliefs, which gives back the person’s “way of seeing things”.

Eg: Here in this project we have the following actors: you, your father, the trainer, the course, the CEO, the CFO, the managers. You feel for each one that XYZ. To me, your thought seems to be XYX. Did I understand correctly?

Among the data that we “hear”, there are also non-verbal expressions of self, clothing, a tattoo, haircut, type of shoes, and many other elements. Faced with these elements, the ‘categorisation’, the ‘stereotype’ and the summary and premature judgement may be triggered. I see a person with a floral shirt, shoes without laces, tattoos, I label him as an “alternative leftist” only to discover that he is a Management Consultant instead of the owner of a cannabis shop.

“Happiness is an open mind.

Be careful of your stereotypes and prejudices, they may trap you and make you miss out on what life has to offer.”

Med Yones

In listening, we need to give ourselves time to gather information, compare it with each other, and understand the bigger picture which is only buildable after listening to different aspects of the person, verbal, non-verbal, and unspoken, not just the “packaging of the person”. Listening to beliefs, listening to data, physical observation, observation of emotional states, when they converge, can give us a much broader picture of listening and perception. This is much more technical listening than empathic listening. Empathy consists of placing oneself in the other person’s state of mind to understand him or her. This multilevel listening, on the other hand, is a true mapping and dissection of the communication flow, where the validity and implications of each of the emerging elements are verified. The result can also be collected in a real database.

2.7. The value of silence

Silence, in listening, has its own meanings too. Here is an analysis taken from a video by Eckhart Tolle, to understand the deeep meanings that silence can have.

Eckhart Tolle

What lies between words is more important than words. It is not nothingness: it is an energy field. The very fact that you can notice the moments of silence between words means that you are bringing your mental presence to those moments, and that they are significant.

In the moment of pause between sentences, you can allow yourself not to think, and if the gap becomes too long, you will notice that you can think, or you may not even think. This coming and going of thoughts is the most important thing to notice in the whole cycle of a person’s life. The sensations of thinking, of being able to think without losing self-awareness, are rare and noble moments.

From the perspective of an ordinary mind, the silence between words seems almost nothing, nothing at all, something not even comprehensible. However, it is the fundamental moment of being, of the most important form of being, that which is in the background, the non-form that makes up most of ourselves.

The field of awareness encompasses both words and, above all, silence, its meanings, and what emerges during silence, especially what arises from silence: sensory perception, stillness, grounding.

All that matters here is to bring presence to the moments of silence, of apparent emptiness, that makes the words themselves possible. There is a special ability, the ability to stay alert outside the illusion of thought, outside the illusion that leads us to identify with the continuous flow of thoughts.

Maintaining awareness even in moments of silence means gaining self-awareness, the knowledge of existing even without the need for tangible ‘things’, the knowledge of being, no matter what.

Listening to and appreciating silence does not increase knowledge, but it does increase awareness.

Furthermore, active listening knows how to appreciate pauses, silences, how to attribute meaning to them, how to value them, without treating them as ‘lost moments’ or wasted time. They become sacred moments, behind which the deepest meanings are hidden. In my coaching and counselling sessions I often invite clients to pause for a moment of silence before giving an answer to my question. And very often, this generates completely different, and deeper, responses than the immediate answer. Very often, precious nuggets are hidden behind a silence, and sometimes silence is the ingredient that brings them out.

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Ascolto Attivo e Segnali

Article translated by dott. Tommaso Pasqualini, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

1.4.        Knowing how to pick up signals

There is an urgent need to return to our ancestral sensibilities. We urgently need to restore our ability to perceive correctly, even before logically evaluating data alone. To do this, we must know how to use listening in a special way, making it an “augmented perception” of any signal that enters our sphere:

1.            Verbal auditory signals. what did Titius just say at the other table?

2.            Paralinguistic auditory signals. Can I hear a person’s vocal stress?

3.            Tactile-tactile signals (did someone just sit in this chair? Is it warm?), or “what does this handshake tell me about you?”

4.            Kinesthetic-visual signals: how is the team today? Understand it in stride, in posture. Understand it even in the locker room. Do they seem calm or agitated? Demotivated or motivated?

5.            Olfactory Signals: What is this new smell I smell in my newly purchased car, have I ever paid attention to it? Am I aware that it is an engineered smell, or do I think it is a result of chance?

6.            Emotional Signals: how am I in the moment, how is my anxiety, my joy, my heart, my dreaming, my living in relationship with others and myself? E… How is the person in front of me? How is she breathing, what is she feeling?

7.            Body signs: what job might the second from the right on that table be doing, based on the type of muscles and how he is dressed and the marks I notice on his skin?

8.            Holistic signals: who is the most dangerous or dissonant person in this train car or bar, is there someone who might be dangerous? Based on what do I notice?

The signals are many. Signs of love, signs of hate, signs of indifference, signs of fear, signs of disgust, signs of friendship. If only we knew how to catch them all….

But as soon as we realize that the discourse does not touch our vital interests, we turn around and continue in our distracted way.

Distraction is an evil of the age.

The “rage of the times” and the rush have brought listening to absolute lows in the history of Western civilization.

Smartphones and other electronic devices have replaced people, and so we have become good at “listening” to the signals of electronic devices, recognizing a beep from a beeep, manipulating a phone or a touch screen, but less good at looking into the eyes of a person who is speaking to us live and grasping their nuances, tone of voice, gaze, head nods, and understanding what they are feeling, and whether or not they are lying.

Throughout the book there will be dozens and dozens of useful tools to re-learn the art and technique of “reading people” – which means practicing a “listening beyond words”. The important thing is that the spark is ignited in us. The spark of ancestral DNA. The spark of curiosity.

The fury of the times has accustomed students to quizzes, multiple-choice tests, computerized exams, and the oral exam is slowly disappearing from the landscape of academic training because it “takes too long”. Thus, we no longer learn to “tune in to the Prof. and his interests that we may have heard in class,” because it has become unnecessary.

Even in groups of boys and girls, sitting at a table in a pizzeria, one can notice a constant “doing” but with one’s smartphone, and an almost physical absence of where people really are, with rare, very rare conversations between participants, often superficial.

It’s never easy to listen. Sometimes it’s more comfortable to act deaf, turn on the Walkman, and isolate yourself from everyone. It is so easy to replace listening with emails, texts and chats, and in this way we deprive ourselves of faces, glances and hugs.

(Pope Francis)

1.5.        From pressing towards being persuasive to rediscovering quality listening

In our society, a sort of “pressing” towards being hyper-communicative and persuasive, quick-quick-wins, but never towards listening, remains strong and pulsating. The time to slow down in order to reason, reflect, the time needed to generate quality and not just quantity, disappears. Yet paradoxically, even in companies – where quality is rightly idolized and rewarded – despite this, people among themselves never really and thoroughly listen to each other, sometimes even in a meeting. Not to mention conversations between bosses and employees. We are all invited to “speak well,” but less so to “listen well.” Listening also includes “listening to things.” Bridges talk, ships talk, cars talk, if only you know how to listen to their languages, if only you know where and what to watch for, if only you walk by with an eye, ear, and hands trained to catch emergencies, dissonances, and problems.

And if you feel like it.

– Listen to the ship.

– What’s there to listen to?

– Just listen to it.

from the movie “Pandorum – The Parallel Universe”.

We are pushed to be incisive, for example to pass a job interview, or in a public speaking course where we study the mechanisms to get an applause, or in advertising, the strategies to communicate to targets and persuade. But it is always “one-way” communication. It is never true listening.

Listening is a holistic process. You can listen to a person, you can listen to a waterfall, you can listen to a river. And that has to do with fundamental issues like safety. Never, ever, would anyone think of “listening to a bridge,” or a ship, or an airplane.

The other side of the communication coin, knowing how to listen, how to perceive, has disappeared. Incorporated by a world that “goes too fast” to afford the luxury of stopping to listen. Yet, without listening, we die. You don’t pick up on danger signals, you don’t grasp the nature of subtle messages.

Before it dies or gives way, a structure gives many signals, the case of the 300-meter viaduct that fell in Genoa being an example.

During a period of my life of some years, when I was in charge of coaching Cruise Ship Commanders, with 5,000 people on board, and a staggering burden of responsibility on my back, I used to make the commanders and vice-commanders perform a special exercise, I used to say “Now lie down on the ground and listen to the ship”. “Close your eyes. Listen to the ship.” At first they were stunned, but then after a few minutes an enormous number of signals emerged, the perception became more acute, from the known vibrations to those they had never heard, from the noise of a pump they had never heard (yet it had always been there), to the ability to do a “holistic listening” of the ship, roll, pitch, including the men, the crews, their real conversations and emotional states in maneuver.

The “listening to the machine” part is called in my method “Structural Listening”, the “man” part is called “Listening to Emotional Climates, or “Listening to Emotional Aquariums” when applied to Team Leadership situations.

It is time to give dignity and method back to the “hidden part of communication” that is precisely listening, whether it is actively listening to a structure, or empathically to a family member, a worker, a supplier, or to better understand the data of a work project, to better connect to the emotions of others, to understand one’s own crew and team in what emotional condition they are in, to know how to intervene when necessary.

1.6.        Listening beyond words. Paths to empathic listening

It is one thing to know the right path, another to take it.

Morpheus (Lawrence Fishburne)

from the movie “Matrix” by Andy Wachowski

We all know that listening is important, but few do it, and of those few, even fewer are those trained in empathy, which means “trained” to technically develop empathy and empathic listening. Sometimes it takes knowing how to do it methodically, and not just by natural aptitude.

If you happen to have a person “feeling you by the skin of their teeth,” and you “feel by the skin of your teeth” that they are understanding, you are experiencing a moment of listening beyond words. Magical moments. Listening is absolutely beyond words. Listening is everything that enters us and to which we attribute meaning. Listening then, becomes perception, and it can become “heightened perception” if we enhance it. We can even come to understand more about a person than he understands about himself, because listening, practiced from the outside, is able to grasp elements that a person constantly experiences, but of which he is not aware.

It’s like walking around all your life with a sign behind your back. Everyone sees it but you. Personality is like that sign.

Equally hidden are the deeper beliefs. For those peripheral ones, preferences, what you like or dislike, can be picked up from details, with a simple observation of the raising of your nose muscles (as when you smell something unwelcome), and are rarely verbalized in public. Yet, careful nonverbal listening will pick them up.

When we observe all of this and not just the words, we are practicing “listening beyond the words,” augmented perception.

Augmented perception means “knowing how to read people”, knowing how to pick up on signals, words, unspoken phrases, gestures, symbols, hints.

He knew how to listen, and he knew how to read.

Not books, they are all good, he knew how to read people.

 (Alessandro Baricco)

Augmented perception can even go so far as to enhance the sensory systems themselves, making a trained person able to listen for changes in vocal stress (lie or embarrassment signaling), something that typically only specific software can do.

Augmented perception can lead you to pick up on facial micro-expressions lasting less than 1/10th of a second, so brief, yet so significant, such as the raising of an eyebrow muscle, or a lip muscle, an indicator of interest, or surprise, or alarm. And there is no doubt that when we are sharper in grasping, in perceiving, in listening, we become different people, ourselves. We change within.

Listening can then be defined as “empathic” when we have really managed to “get inside a person’s head”, understand how they think, understand how they reason, grasp the nuances of their thinking, and understand why they think the way they do, “from inside” their belief system, convictions and emotions.

This concerns not only simple matters, but also something that seems very strange to us, something arcane that with empathic listening we can understand, because we have managed to grasp the internal logic that the person is using.

Listening is one of the phases of a “conversation”, of a dialogue, of a relationship. Often, it is the most important. And the most neglected. Listening is an act of gift, understanding a person is a form of gift, and it can turn into a strategic act (for example, in a negotiation) but basically and in daily life, it can be considered a great gift.

I call religious the one who understands the suffering of others.

 (Mahatma Gandhi)

Listening is absolutely not limited to wanting to understand the suffering of others (a theme that touches on psychotherapy, counseling, and helping relationships), but can also enter into increasing the performance of athletes, athletes, managers, businesses and teams, when listening is used as a primary weapon in good performance coaching.

Empathy, then, also becomes a powerful weapon for overcoming the biggest challenges in our lives, or those of a client.

Other online material available in these sites:
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Active listening and empathy are not to be confused with acceptance of other people’s content

Article translated by dott. Federica Franca, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Intercultural Negotiation. Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers” (original title: “Negoziazione interculturale. Comunicare oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

Active listening rules are not rules of content acceptance, rather methods that encourage the person we are talking with to let their thoughts flow as freely as possible.

Judging what is being said – an inevitable fact during the negotiation – must not interfere with the listening phase and should be “relegated” to further phases of the negotiation. Only after having listened carefully – and within an appropriate negotiation frame –, corrections or clarifications can be made.

The aim of empathic techniques is to facilitate the other person’s flow of thoughts and to collect as much information as possible. When properly used, empathy produces an “empathic flow”, i.e. a flow of data or factual, sentimental and experiential information that is very useful to the negotiator.

The opposite behaviour (judging, correcting, affirming, blocking) breaks the empathic flow and could prematurely stop the collection of valuable information. Even though sometimes the negotiator has to stop that flow (“turning point”), it is usually better to let the person talk, in order to understand whom the negotiator is dealing with and what the real goals and all other necessary pieces of information are.

Besides, empathic techniques are helpful in curbing the premature tendency towards informational self-disclosure (giving information, leaking data inappropriately or prematurely).

Providing people with information and data – that could be counterproductive and cause a boomerang effect on the negotiator – must be done with extreme caution.

The empathic attitude is extremely useful to focus the negotiator’s mental energies on listening to the other person and curbing inappropriate disclosures.

Other online material available in these sites:

Other available online resources

CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

Fonte:

-Dott. Trevisani D., Negoziazione interculturale. Comunicare oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali , Franco Angeli, Milano.

Riepilogo terza lezione del Professore Dott. Daniele Trevisani (11 marzo 2021)

Dr. Daniele Trevisani – Formazione Aziendale Ricerca Coaching home

Presso Campus Ciels Padova, Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica LM-94

Corso di Negoziazione, vedi https://www.ciels.it/avada_portfolio/trevisani-daniele/?portfolioCats=74

Parole chiave

  • Negoziazione a freddo
  • Negoziazione a caldo
  • Target audience analysis (TAA)
  • Setting negoziale
  • Profilazione socio-demografica
  • Profilazione psico-grafica
  • Relationship building
  • Distanza relazionale
  • Eye contact
  • Patrimonio negoziale o capitale psicologico
  • Cultura ad alto contesto
  • Cultura a basso contesto
  • Tecniche di rilassamento
  • Osmosi emotiva
  • Segnale fatico
  • Condivisione produttiva
  • Eccellenza operativa
  • Pepita informativa
  • Topic shifting
  • Regole d’ingaggio
  • Ice breaking
  • Patto d’aula
  • Facial coding system (FACS)

Concetti fondamentali trattati

  1. Negoziazione a caldo: c’è stata una preparazione alla negoziazione, che il negoziatore attua attraverso un’opera di target audience analysis, con una profilazione socio-demografica (in cui si analizzano le aspettative di ruolo) e psico-grafica (in cui vengono studiate le vatiabili della personalità) della controparte;
  2. Negoziazione a freddo: a monte non vi è stata alcune preparazione pregressa;
  3. Patrimonio negoziale (o capitale psicologico): patrimonio e informazioni acquisite nel corso della negoziazione trasmesse da persona a persona;
  4. Cultura ad alto contesto e cultura a basso contesto: nella prima, l’appartenenza ad un determinato rango è un valore fondamentale; nella seconda, le barriere tra persone sono limitate e i rapporti interpersonali sono più sciolti;
  5. Segnali fatici: segnali di contatto (come annuire con il capo) che manifestano la presenza mentale delle parti;
  6. Pepite informative: brani di informazione utili al negoziato;
  7. Topic shifting: nel corso della negoziazione, si configura come l’abilità di cambiare argomento senza offendere la controparte, mediante, per esempio, la riformulazione di una frase con l’aggiunta di altre informazioni o domande che sviano e modificano la tematica di cui si stava discutendo.

Sintesi del mio apprendimento:

  1. Ho capito che un altro aspetto fondamentale per la riuscita di una negoziazione è la preparazione e l’analisi della controparte (la sua cultura di appartenenza, il suo lignaggio, la sua personalità);
  2. Un stato emotivo rilassato durante una negoziazione è molto utile per trasmettere e infondere tranquillità alla controparte, grazie all’effetto dell’osmosi emotiva. Tanto più teso il negoziatore, tanto più tesa la negoziazione;
  3. Il mantenimento del contatto visivo tra le due parti è fondamentale; se interrotto spesso, questo può andare a ledere il processo di relationship building che si instaura durante la negoziazione.

Fonti:

Consonanze e Dissonanze fra Stili Linguistici e Non-verbali

Article translated by dott. Tommaso Pasqualini, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Intercultural Negotiation. Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers” (original title: “Negoziazione interculturale. Comunicare oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

Segnali Non-verbali Negativi dell’Interlocutore

La comunicazione non verbale può rinforzare il messaggio verbale o risultare dissonante con lo stesso. Ascoltare attentamente e annuire possono indicare interesse in maniera più pronunciata rispetto a un’affermazione verbale. Dire “sono interessato” a parole ed esprimere noia o disgusto con azioni corporee produce un segnale di dissonanza e crea sospetti o irritamento. La coerenza (organicità) fra parole e azioni:

  • aumenta la percezione dell’onestà del soggetto;
  • denota affidabilità;
  • mostra interesse;
  • indica che siamo in controllo della situazione;
  • origina un senso di sicurezza e di solidità del contesto;

Al contrario, l’incoerenza:

  • crea un senso di diffidenza;
  • produce sentimenti di mancata autenticità;
  • genera dubbi e sospetti sulla falsità dei contenuti verbali sentiti.

Ogni stile linguistico (a livello interpersonale) è associato a una precisa modulazione dello stile non-verbale. Infatti possiamo avere:

  • situazioni di rinforzo comunicativo (lo stile non-verbale rinforza quello verbale);
  • situazioni di dissonanza o di inconsistenza fra il verbale e il non-verbale (la comunicazione non-verbale procede su un registro diverso dalla comunicazione verbale).

LA dissonanza riguarda ogni sistema semiotico, ogni segno possibile portatore di significato. Un’azienda che si ritiene importante e non ha un sito web, o ha un sito amatoriale, esprime un’immagine di dissonanza, così come un negoziatore che si dimentica di portare strumenti essenziali con se (cataloghi, calcolatrici e ogni altro strumento ovvio).

I segnali non-verbali possono indicare che l’interlocutore sta seguendo il dialogo con un atteggiamento positivo o negativo. In genere, le reazioni negative sono caratterizzate da:

  • angolazioni del corpo: spalle ritratte, distanziamento;
  • volto: teso, dimostra rabbia;
  • voce: tono negativo, silenzi improvvisi;
  • mani: movimenti di rifiuto o di disappunto, movimenti tesi;
  • braccia: tese, incrociate;
  • gambe: incrociate o distanti angolate.

Esercizi di consonanza e di dissonanza fra gli stili comunicativi verbali e non.

Inizia un dialogo su un tema qualsiasi (es. dov’è meglio passare le vacanze) ed esprimi, solo attraverso la postura corporea, i seguenti significati:

  • non ti sopporto, mi provochi noia;
  • mi sei simpatico;
  • la mia testa è da un’altra parte, faccio fatica a seguirti, sono distratto;
  • ho dubbi sulla tua onestà.

Seconda fase dell’esercizio. Modula gli stili introducendo alcune variazioni:

  • espressioni verbale: di “non ti sopporto, mi provochi noia”, insieme a rinforzi non-verbali (es.: stringi i denti, stringi i pugni);
  • espressione verbale: “non ti sopporto, mi provochi noia”, insieme a dissonanza non-verbale (es. sorridi amabilmente);

Segui lo schema mostrato:

  • espressione verbale: “mi sei simpatico”, insieme a rinforzi non-verbali;
  • espressione verbale: “mi sei simpatico”, con dissonanza nel non-verbale;
  • espressione verbale: “la mia testa è da un’altra parte, faccio fatica a seguirti, sono distratto”, insieme a rinforzi non-verbali;
  • espressione verbale: “la mia testa è da un’altra parte, faccio fatica a seguirti, sono distratto”, con dissonanza non-verbale;
  • espressione verbale: “ho dubbi sulla tua onestà”, insieme a rinforzi non-verbali;
  • espressione verbale: “ho dubbi sulla tua onestà”, con dissonanza non-verbale.
Other online material available in these sites:
Other available online resources

CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

Ch. 8 – Empathy and empathic listening techniques

Articolo tradotto dal libro “Parliamoci chiaro” estratto e pubblicato con il permesso dell’autore, Prof. Daniele Trevisani www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it –

Articolo redatto a cura di Dott.ssa Giada Bonsi, CIELS Padova

Ch. 8 – Empathy and empathic listening techniques

Listening is one of the most critical skills in negotiation and selling. The classic stereotype of the seller intent on “talking over the other”, on “winning the conversation”, on always having the last word, is wrong.

The empathic approach has the opposite idea: listening deeply to understand the mental map of our interlocutor, his belief system, and finding the psychological spaces to insert a proposal.

In the ALM method we distinguish some main types of empathy:

Based on observation angles:

  • Behavioural empathy: understanding behaviours and their causes, understanding the why of the behaviour and the chains of related behaviours.
  • Emotional empathy: being able to perceive the emotions experienced by others, understanding what emotions the subject feels (which emotion is in the circle), of what intensity, what emotional mix the interlocutor experiences, how emotions are associated with people, objects, facts, internal or external situations experienced by the other.
  • Relational empathy: understanding the map of the subject’s relationships and their affective values, understanding with whom the subject relates voluntarily or by obligation, with whom he has to relate in order to make decisions, work or live, what is his map of “significant others”, of referents, of interlocutors, of “relevant others” and influencers who affect his decisions, with whom he gets along and who does not, who affects his professional (and in some cases personal) life.
  • Cognitive empathy (or of the cognitive prototypes): understanding the cognitive prototypes active at a given moment in time, the beliefs, values, ideologies, mental structures that the subject possesses and to which he anchors.

Fonte: Articolo tradotto dal libro “Parliamoci chiaro” estratto e pubblicato con il permesso dell’autore, Prof. Daniele Trevisaniwww.danieletrevisani.itwww.comunicazioneaziendale.it –

Articolo redatto a cura di Dott.ssa Giada Bonsi, CIELS Padova

Riepilogo didattico III Lezione

dott. Daniele Trevisani, NEGOZIAZIONE INTERCULTURALE – Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2016.

dott. Daniele Trevisani, Parliamoci chiaro, Gribaudo, 2019.

dott. Recalenda Marco, appunti da corso di Negoziazione di prof. Daniele Trevisani www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it, Padova, 11/03/2021.

Presso Campus Ciels Padova, Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica LM

Corso di Negoziazione, vedi Trevisani Daniele – Campus Ciels

Parole chiave della lezione

  • Negoziazioni a freddo
  • Negoziazioni a caldo
  • TAA – Target Audience Analysis
  • Profilazione socio-demografica
  • Profilazione psicografica
  • Relationship Building
  • Rapport
  • Eye contact
  • Patrimonio negoziale
  • Setting negoziale
  • Scheda di prodotto
  • CMS – Content Management System
  • Capitale psicologico
  • Pepite informative
  • Eccellenza operativa
  • FACS – Facial Action Calling System
  • Face detect
  • Topic shifting
  • Collaboratività
  • Need for Structure alto
  • Need for Structure basso
  • Cultura ad alto contesto
  • Cultura a basso contesto
  • Culture fluide
  • Indisposizione
  • PsyCap
  • Tecniche di rilassamento
  • Segnale fatico
  • Condivisione produttiva
  • Train off
  • Osmosi emotiva
  • Public speaking
  • Ice breaker
  • Performance comunicativa
  • Regole d’ingaggio
  • Occhio clinico
  • Distanza relazionale
  • Distanza fisica

Concetti fondamentali trattati

  • E’ stata trattata la differenza tra negoziazioni a caldo, ovvero preparate, grazie anche al ricorso al TAA – Target Audience Analysis, e negoziazioni a freddo, ovvero inaspettate, improvvise, senza nessuna preparazione precedente possibile. In seguito è stato svolto un esercizio di role playing per quest’ultima tipologia.
  • Si parla di segnale fatico quando tramite la comunicazione non verbale viene permesso al negoziatore di comprendere se l’interlocutore sta seguendo il discorso, è interessato, approva o disapprova quanto viene detto.
  • Nel caso di cultura ad alto contesto vi è un’elevata need for structure, in quanto le persone necessitano di negoziare all’interno di strutture ben organizzate, strutturate e specifiche. Al contrario, vi è una scarsa need for structure nel caso di culture a basso contesto, poiché il contenuto del discorso cambia spesso, come può avvenire in contesti non formali.
  • Topic shifting: tema d’analisi della conversazione che consente al negoziatore di spostare l’attenzione da un argomento a un altro, utilizzando tecniche di comunicazione quali la riformulazione, la formulazione di domande o l’aggiunta di informazioni.
  • Ice breaking: letteralmente rompighiaccio, utile nella negoziazione o nel public speaking. Per quanto concerne quest’ultimo, è stata svolta un’esercitazione pratica nel corso della lezione.

Sintesi del mio apprendimento:

Ho capito che per una negoziazione efficace è necessario mostrarsi rilassati, pertanto è fondamentale imparare e utilizzare tecniche di rilassamento.

Ho imparato a osservare più attentamente l’ambiente che mi circonda, in quanto qualsiasi dettaglio può fornire informazioni preziose sull’interlocutore: l’osservazione con occhio clinico è dunque fondamentale ai fini della negoziazione.

Ho riflettuto su quanto è possibile capire dell’altro osservando semplicemente dettagli quali espressioni, movimenti del corpo, posture. Comprendere e saper riconoscere la comunicazione non verbale è cruciale, quanto lo è saperla controllare e gestire. 

Fonti:

dott. Daniele Trevisani, NEGOZIAZIONE INTERCULTURALE – Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2016.

dott. Daniele Trevisani, Parliamoci chiaro, Gribaudo, 2019.

dott. Recalenda Marco, appunti da corso di Negoziazione di prof. Daniele Trevisani www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it, Padova, 04/03/2021

Presso Campus Ciels Padova, Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica LM Corso di Negoziazione, vedi Trevisani Daniele – Campus Ciels

Ulteriori materiali online in questi siti:
Sito Studio Trevisani Formazione Coaching Consulenza (Italian & English)
Sito Daniele Trevisani (Italian)
Website Dr. Daniele Trevisani (English)
Comunicazione Aziendale
Comunicazione Interculturale
Medialab Research
Intercultural Negotiation (English)
Operational Negotiation (English)
Linkedin Profile Dr. Daniele Trevisani
Ulteriori ricerche online disponibili
Pubblicazioni e libri dott. Daniele Trevisani (Books published)
Rivista online gratuita di Comunicazione, Potenziale Umano e Management
Iscrizione gratuita al Blog Studiotrevisani.it tramite Email
Canale YouTube
Sito istituzionale CIELS: https://www.ciels.it/

1.1 How to distinguish Constructive Communication from Positive Communication

Article translated by dott. Federica Franca, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Let’s be clear. The Four Distances Model for an effective and constructive communication” (original title: “Parliamoci chiaro. Il modello delle quattro distanze per una comunicazione efficace e costruttiva”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Gribaudo.

“Success is never final, failure is never fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts”

Sir Winston Churchill

This is true: we often – very often – fail when we communicate. We cannot convince a family member to do a certain task, a customer to buy a certain product, nor a traffic warden not to fine us. Yet, intent is what matters.

Constructive Communication (CC) is defined by the intent and the ability to build a project or to make some progress within a project, to take steps forward and to make a decision. CC is an essential skill for people who work in fields – such as management, leadership, education – where, at the end of the day, a project or an idea must be fulfilled.

On the other hand, Positive Communication (CP) is characterized by the environment and relationships positivity and by relaxed and serene human interactions. CP restores people who take part in it.

Those who never live in places and times of positive communication end up being intoxicated and never recover.

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop”

Ovid

Taking into account the combination of these two variables, four major types of communication result.

Fig. 1 – Four models of communication and quality of communication

Figure 1 represents:

  1. State A – Toxic prison: a communication form that aims at destroying, blocking, obstructing, slowing down and hindering. It is combined with a toxic emotional experience. This is the worst case of Toxic Leadership, as people living in such environment are unable to finish projects and their daily experience is emotionally miserable and possibly detrimental to their physical and mental health. When referring to family or other social systems, this condition veils every member of the “communicative aquarium”, projects do not get off the ground – or, if they do, they stop – people hamper each other, the communication is unclear or aggressive and the emotional environment is full of fear, anger, regret and sorrow.

 2. State B – Hard work and Silence: a communication form that is dominated by clarity and language precision, by goals that must not make room for human factor – unless they are forced to – and that aims at building, starting and finishing projects. This condition is associated with a negative emotional experience that produces a rather contaminated “communication aquarium” because of feelings of anxiety or haste among people. Mentioning leadership, this is a very common case: people do what they are asked to do, but guided by a background of negative experiences, hatred and resentment towards each other, negative and unnecessary competitiveness – the meanest or the most result-oriented wins and they do not care for the others. “If one of the members fails, I gain in visibility, because I will be considered better than them”: this is one of the toxic values that feeds state B. These types of environments are emotionally wretched and detrimental to physical and mental health, with the only counterbalance being that things get done and some results are achieved, even though some people might be harmed. When considering family environment, things work from a strictly practical point of view, but dining together represents a sad or toxic time; things work from neither an emotional perspective nor in terms of the emotional nourishment a family or a group could and should give to each of its members.

 3. State C – Regeneration: a communication form that is neither practical and pragmatic nor task-oriented, with little or no interest in achieving goals. Regeneration is characterized by positive feelings and a pleasant emotional experience. With regard to leadership, we are referring to a group that lives well but does not produce. In a family, these moments are pleasant and relaxing, not veiled by deadlines and tasks, and they are vital to an overall balance, as people are recover and recharge their batteries.

4. State D – Flow: the most effective communicative and interpersonal condition; every task is accomplished, every goal is achieved, every project is carried out and the emotional environment is positive, results are shared and people are joyful and pleased to be part of the team. In a company, this condition can be described as the “State Business Flow” (a state of positive “flow”). Speaking of family, members manage to develop and conclude their ideas and ambition through mutual support and projects are carried out and developed. The environment is a peaceful and productive and it is made of respectful internal relationships of love, passion, joy and happiness.

We cannot yet refer to this taxonomy as the Four Distances Model, but it tells us what and where we would end up – for better or worse – just by handling the levers of communication properly or incorrectly.

The Four Distances Model – that will be discussed in the following chapters – is useful to understand the reasons why there can be such big differences in groups and people lives, and to act in order to improve or to set things right from the outset.

Other online material available in these sites:

Other available online resources

CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

Fonti:

-Dott. Trevisani D., Parliamoci Chiaro: il modello delle quattro distanze per una comunicazione efficace e costruttiva, Gribaudo, 2019

Riepilogo seconda lezione del Professore Dott. Daniele Trevisani (4 marzo 2021)

Dr. Daniele Trevisani – Formazione Aziendale Ricerca Coaching home

Presso Campus Ciels Padova, Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica LM-94

Corso di Negoziazione, vedi https://www.ciels.it/avada_portfolio/trevisani-daniele/?portfolioCats=74

Parole chiave

  • Incomunicabilità
  • Comunicabilità costruttiva
  • Scienza dei significati
  • Common ground
  • Terreni comunicazionali
  • Ammortizzatore emotivo
  • Nucleo emotivo
  • Roleplaying
  • Escalation negoziale
  • De-escalation negoziale
  • Setting negoziale
  • Desensibilizzazione sistematica
  • Trigger emotivo
  • Negoziazione operativa
  • Mission negoziale
  • Metastrategia
  • Misunderstanding (singolo o di gruppo)
  • Crisis Intervantion Team (CTI)
  • Tentativo empatico
  • Livelli di ascolto (schermato, giudicante, apatico o passivo, a tratti, attivo o supportivo, empatico, simpatetico)
  • Self-image, percezione di sé
  • Disantropizzazione dell’informazione
  • Entropia dell’informazione
  • Caos informativo

Concetti fondamentali

  1. Comunicazione costruttiva: è fondamentale che la comunicazione sia di tipo costruttivo, quindi efficace;
  2. La comunicazione costruttiva dipende anche dalla cultura e dalla scienza dei significati. Se queste vengono travisate, ci si può trovare dinnanzi ad un’incomunicabilità. Fondamentale è anche cercare un common ground tra le parti;
  3. De-escalation negoziale: un bravo negoziatore deve essere in grado di ridurre la portata delle emozioni negative che potrebbero verificarsi durante la negoziazione, evitando in questo modo un’escalation negoziale;
  4. Trigger emotivo: affermazioni che toccano le “corde sensibili” della controparte;
  5. Il negoziatore dovrebbe parlare per circa un 25% dell’opera negoziale ed ascoltare per più o meno il restante 75%;
  6. Esistono diversi tipi di ascolti, dal meno efficace (il cosidetto “ascolto schermato”, in cui si travisa ciò che la controparte afferma) fino ad arrivare all’ascolto simpatetico, il tipo di ascolto più utile.

Sintesi del mio apprendimento

  • Ho imparato che la comprensione della cultura e simbologia dell’altro è essenziale e determinante per la comunicazione;
  • Ho compreso che porsi in maniera positiva e proattiva, ascoltando simpateticamente ed empaticamente ciò che afferma la controparte è la maniera più efficace per la riuscita di una qualsiasi opera di negoziazione;
  • Per poter negoziare, è necessario che il negoziatore non conosca solamente la controparte, il suo background, i suoi valori, la sua cultura, ma anche se stesso, i suoi punti di forza e i suoi punti deboli, per poter comprendere quanto stress emotivo sia in grado di sopportare.

Fonti: