Empatic Listening and Communication

Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace

Article translated by dott. ssa Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace“, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2019”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

Picture. 2 – Types of empathy in the ALM method

Copyright Model Daniele Trevisani http://www.danieletrevisani.it

1.1.             Positive and destructive elements of empathy

It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens, how confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.

Carl Rogers

Empathy is either destroyed or fostered by specific communicative behaviours and attitudes.

Fostering empathyDestroying empathy
Curiosity, passion, motivation to listenDisinterest, listening for duty; lack of motivation
Real listening participation, without fictionPretending a listening role only for professional duty
Acting as a “discoverer”, like a truffle or gemstones hunter. Let’s see what’s going to happen today!Bureaucratic plastered approach. Even today, not today, another meeting, that is so boring
Re-formulation of contents
Recap – re-capitulate “histories” and “topics”
Judgement on contents, comments Endless flow without the security to understand the topic or the sense of the conversation
Plural approaches to question (open, close, clarifying, focusing, and generalizing questions) Flexible questions related to the variation of a session or its contextMonotonous questions, statical questions, questions that are too anchored to a dogmatic scheme or school
Focus on emotional experience, emotional listeningExclusive focus on facts
Verbal or non-verbal signals of attention, “phatic” signals (contact signals) es, yeah, well, ok, I see your point…Body language expressing disinterest, apathy, boredom, or desire to be somewhere else…
Paralinguistic signals of attention, encouragement to express oneself, “phatic” signals (signals expressing participation and attention)Poor evidence of interest and concern to the flow of thought. Lack or scarcity of ‘phatic’ signals and mental contact.

“Empathy between people is like water in the desert: you rarely encounter it, but when you do, it calms you down and regenerates you.”

Emanuela Breda

1.4 “Being there” in relationship: separating listening from “expression” activities and generating the “empathic flow”.

Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly.

 (George MacDonald)

In empathy, ‘being there’ is important. To ‘be there’, it is essential not to confuse between listening and expression. Listening communication, and the quality of listening, includes the need to perform a clear separation on a mental level, the activities of paying attention to the communication of others, understanding it (incoming communication) from the activities of expressing our messages (outgoing communication).

We are referring to a ‘flow’, an empathic one, a two-way flow between two people during an empathic communication. There is something magical about this kind of flow sometimes. To be clear, the content of this flow in terms of words, sentences, facial expressions and any other ‘communicative content’ is expressed by the speaker, but the listener expresses an equally powerful, even more powerful flow, the flow of attention and mental presence. Two opening flows of acceptance, which create a unique and special moment of human sharing. If you happen to hear yourself say “I have never felt as much understanding as in this conversation, thank you very much” you probably performed a high empathy rate.

Picture 9 – Separation of the expression flow from empathic flow

When we know how to separate these two flows properly, first on a mental level, then on a physical and behavioural level, we will know how to give presence, avoiding intruding on the empathic flow with inappropriate communications. When it is ‘our turn’, we will always be empathic, ‘connected’ and relevant.

People also leave presence in a place even when they are no longer there.

(Andy Goldsworthy)

1.5 Ten rules to quality empathic listening. Ten rules always to apply.

Most quarrels amplify a misunderstanding.

 (Andre Gide)

During the listening phases necessarily:

  1. do not interrupt while other persons are talking;
  2. do not judge them prematurely; do not express judgements that could block their expressive flow;
  3. summarize what you understood (so, if I understood well, it happened that…), re-formulate critical points (ok, he doesn’t answer to the phone, and you feel really bad, I see), to paraphrase (so, as I understood, is it…?)
  4. do not get distracted, do not think about anything else, do nothing else but listening (except for taking notes if necessary), use your thoughts to listen, do not wander;
  5. do not correct the other person while he/she is stating something, even when you disagree, keep listening;
  6. do not try to overpower her/him;
  7. do not try to dominate her/him;
  8. do not try to teach or impart truths; restrain the temptation to interfere with the expression flow and correct something assumed as incorrect;
  9. do not speak about ourselves;
  10. show interest and participation through verbal signals and body language;

Particularly interesting attitudes may be:

  • genuine interest and curiosity towards the other: the desire to know and explore another one’s mind; activating human and professional curiosity;
  • inner silence: creating a state of emotional stillness (free from negative emotions and prejudices), in order to listen and respect the other person’s rhythms;
  • mentally preparing oneself for the ‘whole’: being able to support even ‘heavy’ psychic material (fears, traumas, dramas, personal tragedies, dreams, disturbed states of mind) that the other person expresses, or when they emerge in the process, being able to explore them while keeping the ‘focus’ on mental and emotional balance and not overwhelmed by what is being heard (technique of Controlled Emotional Distancing – CED).

It is remarkable quoting Carl Rogers, psychologist, and founder of Counseling, the person that most of all has influenced the same concept of empathy:

“Our first reaction to most of the statements which we hear from other people is an immediate evaluation, or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling or attitude or belief, our tendency is, almost immediately, to feel “That’s right”; or “That’s stupid”; “That’s abnormal”; “That’s unreasonable”; “That’s incorrect”; “That’s not nice”. I believe this is because understanding is risky. If I let myself really understand another person, I might be changed by that understanding.”

Carl Rogers

“What the statement means to him” is the true meaning of any empathy operation, understanding the emotional connection, the motive seen from within. It is a technique. Then it matters little whether that technique is applied to a criminal to understand their next gestures and moves, or to a person suffering from anxiety, or to help a young person find his way in the future, a sportsman wins his next race, or a team in which we are trying to produce the state of ‘flow for maximum performance.

Active Listening and Empathy

Article translated by dott. ssa Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2019”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

Fonte:

-Dott. Trevisani D., Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2019

Other online material available in these sites:

Other available online resources

CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

Emphatic Listening and Communication

Article translated by dott. Federica Vazquez, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

1.    Data and emotions: the two basic ingredients of empathic listening 

When a sunrise or sunset no longer gives us excitement, 

means that the soul is sick.

 (Roberto Gervaso)

Empathy is defined in a thousand different ways. 

For our purpose, it is sufficient to focus, here and now, on the fact that empathy is a “state of mind”, a state of openness to listening, of predisposition to grasp the data and emotions that come from the other person, to “feel” them, coming to understand a situation with identification, to be aware of what lives, with the eyes and the heart of the person who is telling us. We will go into this concept in more detail later. We have already said it, but empathy, however deep, is not equivalent to sympathy.

Those who practice empathic listening must be very good at “grasping” and “feeling” but they must absolutely not fall into the trap of “confusing their own self with that of the other”. So, let’s stay for now on a technical aspect: the decomposition of listening into data and emotions. It is fundamental to distinguish “active listening”, of data, from listening to emotions. Listening to data and listening to emotions are two different processes. 

Sometimes co-present, and often they become two “tasks” or tasks that travel in parallel. But conceptually they are different. 

We always have “the whole” available to us while we listen, it is up to us to be able to grasp, to be able to distinguish, to be able to “appreciate” and be sensitive to even the most subtle nuances of the soul and emotion.

The two layers of listening can be seen as two rivers traveling parallel to each other. Two streams of information, rather than water, that we need to perceive, simultaneously.

Casella di testo 54
Casella di testo 52

It is true that even an emotion is a form of “data”, but we must note, of course, that it is one thing to deal with qualitative data such as feeling pleasure, or being proud, or feeling sad or depressed, and another thing to note down information such as “London“, “Milan“, “50 km“, “10 kg”, “plane“, “train“, “100 Euro“, and other more tangible quantitative or qualitative information. We can say that scientifically we have a “data-point” (data point, certain information) every time we manage to extract a verifiable proposition. 

The statement “Before 5 p.m. David made a sale and was overjoyed” contains four data points

Listening closely resembles the process of “mining and separating” as it occurs in a deposit. Extracting material and separating it into stones on one side, and mud on the other. In listening, the materials are almost always joined, almost glued together, but we can learn to separate them. In the example written below it will be quite easy to do this.

Figure 7 – extracting data from a text passage (data-centered listening)

Davide and Lucia last night around 7:30 pm had an argument because there was some grass to remove from the garden and Paolo did it but he got tired, when he told Lucia, with pride, that he had cleaned a whole area of the lawn corresponding to the entrance, Lucia got angry because she felt inside that it was like a sort of accusation, a tone she didn’t like, as if he had said “you didn’t do it, I did it”.

Figure 8 – extraction of emotional states from the same textual passage

Paolo and Lucia last night around 7:30 p.m. had an argument because there was some grass to remove from the garden and Paolo did it but got tired of it, when he told Lucia, with pride, that he had cleaned a whole area of the lawn corresponding to the entrance, Lucia got angry because she felt inside that it was like a sort of accusation, a tone she didn’t like, as if he had said “you didn’t do it, I did it”.

When we move on to video excerpts, or real-time human interactions, we have to get even better at it, because emotions can be “hidden” behind micro-expressions, small involuntary facial cues, or can instead become very manifest and verbalized.

When we listen, we can pay attention to one, the other, or both. Being able to grasp both is surely better. Behind listening to emotions there is a vision of man as a creature that “feels” and not just as a creature that “reasons.”

When dealing with people, remember that we are not dealing with people with logic. 

We are dealing with creatures with emotions.

 (Dale Carnegie)

It may seem strange to underestimate the logical part of the human being, but we must realize that, according to neuroscience, only 2% of the mental calculation capabilities are available for conscious and rational reasoning, and the rest is divided between data necessary to run the “biological machine” heart, lungs, breathing, and millions of processes, and subconscious data, on which emotions are grafted, whether we want them to or not. Remember that even an emotion is to some extent a data, but it goes without saying that it is one thing to ask active questions starting from the sentence “I bought 4 kilos of fish” and another to do it to deepen the sentence “in this period I feel full of hope but also of remorse“.

Emotions are expressed both with words, but much more so through facial microexpressions, body signals, and voice state (paralinguistics), than through the verbal component. 

Words alone do not convey emotion if they are not accompanied by an appropriate context. The way they are said, much more so. But they are not usually “said.” They simply manifest themselves in non-verbal behavior, in facial expressions. And even if not said, they need to be “heard.”

The most important thing in communication is 

Listen to what isn’t being said.

 (Peter F. Drucker)

Listening to data or listening to emotions qualifies the difference between data-centered informational listening and psychologically oriented listening. Listening to data is not the same as picking up emotional states. In fact, we can apply psychological listening or technical-informational listening. An advanced negotiator and a high-level salesperson will be able to apply the correct level of listening, or both, depending on the situation, without entering into a predetermined, stereotypical, rigid listening state.

This is also true for a parent who wants to listen to a child about how they are doing in school, fixating on grades and data as if filling out an Excel spreadsheet, or trying to understand moods and relationships.

Learning to listen well is possible, with care, with practice, with passion and willingness, making mistakes, and always starting over.

Always be like the sea, which breaks against the rocks and always finds the strength to try again.

Jim Morrison

1. Empathy and empathic communication: the four levels of empathy in the ALM/HPM method 

…sometimes you talk to the world and the world doesn’t seem to hear… ….

other times the world is talking to us and we are somewhere else.

Daniele Trevisani

Empathy is that state of “mental presence,” where “I am here, with you,” alongside a human being we want to fully understand. 

As such, it has a possibility of limited duration, that of an interview, but its effect can last forever, as with any memory or experience. Empathy is based on the fact of strongly wanting to be present, a mental presence that takes in every nuance and detail of what is said, of the nonverbal, of the paralinguistic, trying to understand its meaning, until you get to understand the “story” of a person and his “salient episodes, positive and negative”. It can also come to a total understanding of a person’s “state of mind,” beyond any verbal etiquette, beyond any possibility of expression.

In the ALM (business development) and HPM (personal development) method, a special model of empathy is elaborated, with a typology initially exposed in the volume Intercultural Negotiation.

Fig. 1 – Types of empathy based on observation angles

  • Behavioralempathy: understanding behaviors and their causes, understanding the why of the behavior and the chains of related behaviors.
  • Emotional empathy: being able to perceive the emotions experienced by others, understand what emotions the subject feels (what emotion is in the circle), of what intensity, what emotional mix the interlocutor lives, how emotions are associated with people, objects, facts, internal or external situations that the other lives.
  • Relational empathy: understanding the map of the subject’s relationships and their affective values, understanding with whom the subject relates voluntarily or out of obligation, with whom he must relate in order to make decisions, work or live, what is his map of “significant others”, referents, interlocutors, “relevant others” and influencers that affect his decisions, with whom he gets along and who does not, who affects his professional (and in some cases personal) life.
  • Cognitive empathy (or cognitive prototypes): understanding the cognitive prototypes active at a given moment in time, the beliefs, values, ideologies, and mental structures that the subject possesses and attaches to.

Article translated by dott. Federica Vazquez, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

Other online material available in these sites:

Other available online resources

CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

The Scale of Listening Levels

Article translated by dott. Federica Vazquez, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

2.1.Negative listening modes: when and how to give the worst of yourself by getting everything wrong in listening 

What is the difference between question and accusation?

An accusation is one that is not answered; a question is answered.

from the movie “The Marauders” by Steven C. Miller

A visual tool is very useful to understand immediately that there is a real “scale” in the levels of listening and in the quality of listening. From a critical listening to an empathic listening, the difference is considerable and tangible. This scale is shown in the next figure. In it, we see a progression towards improvement in listening levels as we move up the scale.

Let’s start with the decidedly negative levels: The negative elements of listening are the ones that make you feel bad when you experience them. They generate the feeling of not being understood, or neglected, or not considered for what is said or even as a person. They go against, in practice, a basic need of every human being: to be understood. A need as strong as the need for air.

To be at your worst in listening, it is enough to interrupt, judge, not listen, get distracted, listen while watching TV or typing on a smartphone, do not look at people, distort every possible interpretation, in short, a whole baggage of errors just mentioned here, which you can explore better below.

Perhaps one did not so much wish to be loved as to be understood. 
(George Orwell)

2.2.Shielded or distorted listening 

Screened listening blocks or amputates part of the data coming from the auditory channel and distorts it, as it does for the other channels: sight, touch, taste, smell. The outcome is not understanding, not paying attention, distorting the incoming data. Literally, understanding one thing for another. It happens when you are too tired to listen, or the listener is experiencing an emotional state that is not appropriate for quality listening (e.g. anger, frustration, euphoria, passion, and many other strong emotions) and there are internal states that stand in the way of quality listening.

You will have very often been on the other side, in the role of the person speaking, and not understood at all, or even completely misunderstood. Well, you now have a definite label for this condition.

2.3. Judgmental/aggressive listening 

Being misunderstood by those we love is the worst condition for living and facing life’s commitments every day. Misunderstanding weighs like a mountain and traces deep furrows on the soul.

 (Romano Battaglia)

Judgmental/aggressive listening is characterized by the fact that the receiver does not really listen but, gathers snippets of information and then immediately makes judgments and judgements. When it affects us, we can say that we are “putting up a wall” towards the other person, such that it doesn’t even matter what they say, how they say it, it’s all wrong “regardless”. What we can call a “negative reverberation” can either touch on “what you said on topic x is nonsense”, or go straight to the heart, attacking the person themselves and not their phrase “you are an egocentric and don’t understand anything”. 

This second form of offense is much more serious than the first because it involves the person in his or her totality: “you are”, and not in a delimited action “you do x and I don’t like that x”. Judgmental listening is done with words, but not only. It can also emerge from a very subtle grimace emitted in a non-verbal way, such as “turning up one’s nose” during an affirmation that one does not approve of, and it is not to be confused with emotional participation in what the other person is saying. Aggressive listening triggers the aggression-hate spiral. It is truly an enemy of human relationships and humanity more generally.

Peace cannot be maintained by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

 (Albert Einstein)

2.4. Apathetic or passive listening 

That there are worse things than an absence. A distracted presence.

 (manuela_reich, Twitter)

Apathetic or passive listening is characterized by our or others’ “mental absence,” and is negative. Devoid of energy, tired, “dead”, switched off, distracted. It is an empty listening of signals, practiced by a person who is disinterested, or incapable of listening, often totally absorbed by his internal processes, by his inner reasoning, in which the words heard do not make a breach. Like throwing darts at an armored safe, those darts shatter and fall. Nothing really gets in. Communication and messages only touch these people, and to say that they will understand little of what is said is to give them a gift.

Article translated by dott. Federica Vazquez, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book “Active Listening and Empathy. The Secrets for Effective Communication” (original title: “Ascolto attivo ed empatia. I segreti di una comunicazione efficace”), written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan.

Other online material available in these sites:

Other available online resources

CIELS Institutional Website: https://www.ciels.it/

1.1. Application of the Four Distances Model

Parliamoci Chiaro: il modello delle quattro distanze per una comunicazione efficace e costruttiva

© Article translated by dott. ssa Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book: Parliamoci Chiaro: il modello delle quattro distanze per una comunicazione efficace e costruttiva” (Let’s Speak Clearly: the four distances model for an effective and constructive communication) , written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan. www.studiotrevisani.it www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it

The Four Distances Model (4DM) can be useful:

  • for family communications;
  • for couple dynamics, between husband and wife, between life partners;
  • to improve helping relationships such as coaching, counseling, therapy, teaching, training;
  • in leadership and team direction;
  • to work on human relationships in challenging and confined environments such as work groups operating in extreme or hostile environments;
  • in communication for Workplace Safety;
  • for communication, communication that occurs between
  • people of different cultures, whether ethnic, religious, regional, and any other cultural factors;
  • to examine little-explored worlds of communication such as inter-species communication;
  • for human-machine communication and human-artificial intelligence (AI) communication;
  • to venture into territories that are unknown to human beeings, such as during long-term space missions and extended travel in confined environments;
  • to anticipate near futures, such as communication criticality occurring to human challenges, such as creating peace wherever there is conflict;
  • for highly concrete industrial collaboration projects between nations and between companies from different nations;
  • to perform real research and development, able to absorbe concepts and cultures also from very different disciplines, such as engineering, material sciences, anthropology, sociology, physics, economics, psychology, statistics, and many others, creating really effective working groups even if interdisciplinary and intercultural;
  • and in a not so distant dream… to establish communicative bases with still undiscovered cultures and civilizations, that maybe one day could manifest themselves, and with which every known form of communication could be useless or not working.

This is no more science fiction, since every day hundreds of habitable planets similar to Earth are discovered. A very significant percentage of these planets is located in the “habitable zone” or “Golden Lucky Zone” of the respective solar system, not too close to its sun (with the risk of excessive temperatures that make life impossible) or too far away (with the risk of temperatures so low as to make life impossible).

This fact provides forms of possible communication and contact on which the four distances can shed light. Even without looking for distant and remote worlds, our own Earth itself is a place where people – homo sapiens with homo sapiens – do not understand each other, they kill each other apparently for nothing, and conflicts break out in a devastating way, between ethnic groups, religious groups, family conflicts, couple conflicts, between groups of opposite supportes, between nations, and between gangs in the same city, therefore recognizing and fighting incommunicability really is a fundamental mission.

“Concord begets beauty and order in things. Conversely, from perpetual strife there must arise disorder accompanied by bestial cruelty.”

Pope Leo XIII

Concerning Business field, simply as a matter of fact, there will be – if incommunicability prevails – no sales, no business, no understanding between seller and customer, no realisation of anything at all. At listening level, none of the real, strong needs of customers and consumers is understood.

The possible useful messages and important information do not pass the communication barrier and customers remain dissatisfied, or less satisfied than they could be. Products – moreover – badly designed, or worse than they could be if only there was good communication with customers, especially in the ability to listen to them and involve them in research and development (R&D).

In a family background, paradoxically, the more time spent next to a person, the more it seems to come to the fatal conclusion not to really know that person next to a stranger. Obviously, the weaker ones will pay the price, while others will think they are “putting on an emotional armour”, but this way many positive development will become impossible for the future.

The 4 Distances model can examinate this process, to helps understand that distances are not “static” but rather dynamic. Distances change, evolve, sometimes over years, sometimes in fractions of a second (especially for mood and emotional states), sometimes they “involute”, worsening as time makes us discover new things about each other and stress puts our relationship to the test, forcing us to the ropes and bringing out parts of the personality that otherwise would not come out.

“The Progress, the evolution of a race is not measured in technological or scientific terms, it is measured by the ability to understand that there are others living in this world.”

Marco Trogi

People change, evolve, their identities, values, emotions, even their bodies, are subject to change, affecting the quality of communication.

In all these situations, all we need at first is a model, something to help us orient ourselves. Even if there is no perfect model, a model or theorem always fulfils an indispensable task: to start compaing about ‘something’ rather than nothing but a blank page.

Discussing about a model is therefore always productive.

Many anthropologists and psychologists have expressed concepts that “hide” models, they explained their variables but they have never produced a real operational, graphic, visual, comprehensible scheme. An operating scheme is much better when presented in a visual form – to provide us a quicker inspiration for the analysis of incommunicability.

Why schemes? Because managers and practitioners need operational models, their professional backgrounds have accustomed us to understand them, and a schema also offers us real “labels”, words, usable concepts, comprehensible language, and the same applies to people who operate as promoters of helping relationships (educators, counsellors, therapists).

The 4 Distances model has been developed for this purpose. It was first presented by me at a scientific conference in Miami during the 9th International and Intercultural Communication Conference[1]. Since that first presentation and now, the model has undergone considerable evolution and improvement, and continues to change as new areas of research, enrichments, clarifications and comparisons with other sciences are included.

This model is sufficiently mature to be disseminated to the public, and many years of application in the field of counselling and training of UN Blue Helmets, managers, coaches and counsellors, and Special Forces and leaders, have verified its practical usefulness. It is therefore useful evolving the communication of people and managers, and for anyone who finds that good communication and collaboration is a vital necessity.

“Through the evolutionary process, those who are able to engage in social cooperation of various sorts do better in survival and reproduction.”

Robert Nozick

_________________

[1] See Trevisani, 1992, in bibliography

© Article translated by dott. ssa Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli, CIELS Advanced Degree in Strategic Communication (“Laurea Magistrale in Comunicazione Strategica”), extracted with the author’s permission from the book: Parliamoci Chiaro: il modello delle quattro distanze per una comunicazione efficace e costruttiva” (Let’s Speak Clearly: the four distances model for an effective and constructive communication) , written by Daniele Trevisani, published by Franco Angeli, Milan. www.studiotrevisani.it www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it

Source:

-Dott. Trevisani D., Parliamoci Chiaro: il modello delle quattro distanze per una comunicazione efficace e costruttiva, Gribaudo, 2019

For further information see:

Analisi della conversazione e mosse conversazionali

Negoziazione Interculturale. Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali

©Articolo tradotto da: https://www.interculturalnegotiation.com/2021/02/01/conversation-analysis-and-conversational-moves/ su materiale pubblicato nel libro “Negoziazione Interculturale. Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” estratto e pubblicato con il permesso dell’autore, Prof. Daniele Trevisani www.studiotrevisani.it www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it– Articolo redatto a cura di: dott. Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli, CIELS Padova

Nel seguente articolo andremo a introdurre il concetto di analisi della conversazione, uno studio fondamentale che può aiutare a migliorare le proprie capacità all’interno di una negoziazione.

Per incominciare un’analisi di negoziazione produttiva dobbiamo distinguere 3 diverse fasi:

  • La fase di “preparazione alla negoziazione”: briefing, raccolta dati, analisi dell’interlocutore, preparazione di una lista di argomenti all’ordine del giorno, attività di role-play, sviluppo di linee d’azione e testare;
  • Fase della comunicazione o fase front-line: la fase di contatto face-to-face;
  • Fase di analisi e debriefing: risultati dell’analisi di negoziazione e preparazione a tutte le successive fasi.

La fase di preparazione necessita di uno studio del maggior numero di informazioni, per iniziare poi la fase face-to-face con consapevolezza della situazione (conoscenza dei fatti) e della cultura (conoscenza di elementi culturali di base).

La fase di negoziazione rappresenta il terreno di negoziazione, il “momento della verità”, dove le azioni più significative hanno luogo e avendo luogo durante la conversazione, sono irreversibili.

La fase di debriefing è necessaria per assorbire le informazioni e include, almeno:

  • Un debriefing comportamentale: la nostra analisi comportamentale, gli errori d’analisi, altre analisi comportamentali e
  • Un debriefing strategico: implicazioni pratiche, risultati d’analisi, preparazione a tutti gli step.

La negoziazione normalmente richiede differenti cicli di “preparazione-contatto-debriefing”. Per questa ragione possiamo assimilarlo a un processo circolare.

L’analisi della conversazione è una delle sfere di conoscenza più utili impiegate nel campo della comunicazione al fine di comprendere come le persone interagiscano durante il contatto face-to-face.

Da un punto di vista scientifico l’AC analizza come le persone gestiscano i loro turni conversazionali e come provino a interagire, ma da una prospettiva pratica le possibili applicazioni di AC sono estremamente rare. Prima di tutto l’AC era infatti diretto alle interazioni sociali e personali e molto meno ai dialoghi tra aziende.

Da un punto di vista linguistico, il modello ALM usando alcuni concetti di AC e numerose aggiunte originali, tenta di “smantellare” la conversazione analizzandola come un set di atti conversazionali, per studiare la sua struttura e applicarla al problema concreto delle aziende oppure organizzazioni che devono negoziare in modo efficace.

Da un punto di vista semiotico, potremmo chiederci (1) quali siano i significati e quali le interpretazioni del significato che ogni attore conferisce alle mosse individuali a un livello relazionale (semantica relazionale) e (2) quali siano gli effetti pratici sulla relazione stessa (pragmatica relazionale).

Grazie all’analisi delle mosse conversazionali e delle intere parti di interazione, è possibile aiutare manager e negoziatori (1) a decodificare la conversazione, e (2) ad acquisire migliori competenze conversazionali.

Inoltre, possiamo formare ed educare i negoziatori a produrre una strategia conversazionale più efficiente e consapevole, anche all’interno della loro stessa cultura.

Le mosse conversazionali possono essere definite come azioni specifiche o “emissioni” create da un interlocutore.

Alcune mosse conversazionali sono, per esempio:

  • annuire,
  • anticipare,
  • attaccare,
  • cedere un turno,
  • chiedere chiarimenti
  • conquistare il turno
  • ecc.

La negoziazione può essere vista, quindi, come un insieme di mosse. Ogni cultura fa propri alcuni di questi repertori e li espande, rifiutandone altri o relegandoli ad alcuni ambiti comunicativi.

Nella cultura giapponese, per esempio, dire un secco “no” è considerato un atto molto scortese, ma questo non significa che un manager giapponese non possa imparare a dire “No” in modo secco. Affidarsi a semplici stereotipi e prenderli come certezze è un errore.

Ogni mossa è legata alle mosse precedenti del soggetto e a quelle fatte dagli altri.

Nell’ambito intra-culturale esistono repertori specifici e regole conversazionali che generalmente vengono condivise, mentre in ambito interculturale il livello di diversità aumenta, perché in ogni cultura le mosse conversazionali vengono utilizzate in modo diverso.

Durante una negoziazione, a seconda del valore relazionale, dobbiamo prestare attenzione a:

  • mosse di avvicinamento (segni di simpatia, amicizia, affetto, disponibilità a collaborare, segni di unione, ecc.
  • mosse di allontanamento (distacco, antipatia, rifiuto, volontà di mantenere le distanze, ecc.)

Se guardiamo i contenuti della conversazione durante una negoziazione, è importante distinguere tra:

  • mosse di apertura (esplorazione di nuove informazioni, ampliamento, allargamento del campo di conversazione, ecc.
  • mosse di chiusura (tentare di concludere, concretizzare);

e anche tra:

  • mosse di ascolto (empatia, domande, raccolta di dati), e
  • mosse propositive (affermazioni, posizioni, richieste)

©Articolo tradotto da: https://www.interculturalnegotiation.com/2021/02/01/conversation-analysis-and-conversational-moves/ su materiale pubblicato nel libro “Negoziazione Interculturale. Comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” estratto e pubblicato con il permesso dell’autore, Prof. Daniele Trevisani www.studiotrevisani.it www.danieletrevisani.it www.comunicazioneaziendale.it – Articolo redatto a cura di: dott. Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli, CIELS Padova

Fonti:

-Traduzione di Eleonora Brusamento Spinelli dell’articolo Conversation Analysis and Conversational Moves scritto da Trevisani Daniele Conversation Analysis and Conversational Moves-Intercultural Negotiation

-Articolo tratto da: Dott. Trevisani D. Negoziazione InterculturaleComunicazione oltre le barriere culturali. Dalle relazioni interne sino alle trattative internazionali, Franco Angeli Edizioni, 2016

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